


So He Talks

by Crumbles_Of_Reality



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fairy Tales, Inferred love, Magic, Magic Reveal, Mental Patient Merlin, Merthur - Freeform, Modern Magic, Patient Merlin, Possibly Triggering, Short Story, Suicide Attempt, Therapist Arthur, Therapists, Waiting for Arthur, breakdowns, implied major character death, knights of the round table story, possible triggers, reference to suicide attempt, tantrums, the tales of arthur and the round table, therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 21:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5841220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crumbles_Of_Reality/pseuds/Crumbles_Of_Reality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin remembers it all, every last detail from his first life. He never forgets, not after he kills himself, not after he is reborn, time and time again. But someone catches him this time, when he tries to take his life for the (what, 345th time?) and is sent to a mental hospital with a therapist and nurses. </p>
<p>He isn't surprised when his therapist is Arthur. It sucks, looking at the body of the man you once loved but not having his mind. </p>
<p>So he talks of the times when he loved Arthur, spewing everything in his point of view. And he sees little pieces of Arthur's old personality coming back. </p>
<p>Merlin knows he'll never have the same old herioc oaf of an Arthur again, but maybe he'll fall in love with this one too. </p>
<p>And so he talks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So He Talks

“So, Merlin, do you know why you’re in here today?” Arthur asked, deciding he’d get to the point. 

“Yes, I attempted to kill myself.” Merlin stated back, with the same eerily calm voice Arthur had spoken with. It took all Arthur’s will not to wince at Merlin’s straight-forward-ness.

“And how does that make you feel?” He managed to question. He knew his patient would be troubled, yes, the doctors had told him as much, but he never expected Merlin to be so accepting of what he had done. 

“Nothing, really. If anything, a little angry it didn’t work. I’ll just be reborn again, I’ll just have to watch you go through another life not remembering me.” Merlin stated simply, though there seemed to be a bit of harshness and bitterness to his words. 

“What do you mean? Tell me about yourself.” Arthur inquired, a bit curious about this patient and his blatant ways. 

Merlin looked up, meeting Arthur’s gaze with his shockingly blue eyes. 

“A long time ago, in a land of myth and a time of magic-” Merlin began, and Arthur sighed. 

“Merlin, I want to hear about the _real_ you, not a myth.” Arthur sighed, still meeting the boy’s glare. 

“A long time ago, in a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom was on the shoulders of a young boy, his name,” Arthur waited for him to continue his tale, knowing it well from his times on elementary schools. 

“Merlin.” He spoke, which managed to shock Arthur. He looked at Merlin with shielded eyes, not knowing what to expect anymore. 

And he let Merlin tell him of “his” first day in Camelot. 

Arthur must admit, he had never heard any stories from Merlin’s point of view, but they were startlingly accurate to the other tales and matched up perfectly. It made him wish that there really was a time like that. Where Merlin really was such a hero, but the pitiful man -no, he barely seemed like a boy- hardly seemed to have that much courage in him. 

“Alright, I’m not telling you any more until tomorrow.” Merlin stated suddenly, making Arthur snap out of his dreams of Merlin’s tales. 

“What? Why not? Uh, why shouldn’t you?” He finished more calmly, knowing he wasn’t supposed to effect the patient with his emotions, but it turned out Merlin heard his desperation for the story, and there was a glint in his eyes that Arthur hadn’t seen before. It was barely there, just enough for him to get to know Merlin better. That was all he needed right now. 

\----

The next day, Arthur waited impatiently through his other patients, trying to keep calm and collected, trying to not look agitated by their drawling words. One girl, Freya, who he liked, smiled at him mischeviously. 

“You’ve met someone and they’re you’re patient, haven’t you?” She asked. Arthur’s eyes widened. He had long known that this girl liked to see his emotions, and he let out a breathy laugh. 

“Freya, you really should become one of those fortune-tellers, gosh,” He smiled. She laughed and shook her head slowly, a knowing look in her eyes. 

“I’ll go then. I had nothing to talk to you about, I’m sure your patient will be waiting!” She winked and walked out of the room. As if on schedule Merlin tripped into the room, looking flustered and bashful. He glared at something outside of the room then sat down in the chair. 

“Alright, so where was I?” Merlin asked. Arthur smiled, a genuine smile that made butterflies rise in his stomach thinking about how happy he must seem. 

“The poisoned chalice?” He replied politely. Merlin nodded in remembrance and continued on his tale until their hour session was over. 

\---

This continued for two weeks, and Arthur found himself looking forward to his 4 to 5 o’clock sessions with Merlin. Even if Merlin was sick in the mind and body, he couldn’t help but let his emotions free around him. Merlin seemed to enjoy the sessions much more when he did that, smiling wider and motioning with his hands. 

He never looked straight at Arthur, though. Well, he looked at him, but not _at_ him. More ast him, as if looking at someone else. Arthur found himself falling in love with this quirky patient, falling in love with the patient’s gaze and eyes and smile and tall-tales. 

\---

One day, Merlin fell silent. 

As much as Arthur pressed him, he wouldn’t speak. He had been reared up last session, talking about the final Battle of Camelot, how he turned into an older sorcerer who struck lightning to the sky, raining it down upon Arthur and his enemies. Arthur desperately wanted to know what happened, but he had gone silent. 

Then, halfway through the episode of silence he had been having, he spoke. 

“Arthur, you died. I didn’t save you. You died, Arthur, and I was immortal, being reborn again and again. You were reborn only 6 times, between all those times that I was,” He whispered, tears welling in his eyes. It broke Arthur’s heart to see him like that. 

“And I SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOU, ARTHUR. I SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOU!” He screamed, sobbing. A nurse came in to check on them, but he waved her away with a warning look, then walked to Merlin, patting his back. 

“Merlin, shh, none of it was real, it’s ok. You don’t have magic, you aren’t a sorcerer, I don’t hate you, I’m not dead.” He whispered. Merlin looked up at him, sniffling. 

“You swear on your life that you will not tell a soul what I can do? My magic?” He mustered up the courage to ask Arthur, whimpering and looking away after he had finished saying it. 

What did he mean? He didn’t have magic. Arthur nodded. 

“I promise, Merlin.” 

And then Merlin’s eyes flooded gold, and Arthur’s flooded with surprise. He had fallen in love with the patient and the sorcerer, and knew only one of them was real…. 

But what if, long ago, in a land of myth and a time of magic…. what if?

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked please leave a Kudos, they are ALL apreciated!!


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